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Monday, June 29, 2009

A Bitch to Behold: Leighton Meester


Not only does she have the coolest name, the best clothes, the
best role on the best TV show and a hot boyfriend (who she is 
allegedly going to announce an engagement with) but her mom 
was a drug dealer and she was born in jail annnddd now she 
has a song with these casually good looking men? Some girls 
have all the luck I tell ya. I have a serious girl crush.

My Girl Likes to Jarty all the Time!

Here are some jort (Jean Shorts) look... flannel and graphic tees need not apply.






Jackie Oy!

You don't need to be done up in lily to capture that Jackie O (or OY for us Jewish girls out there) look.


With fun colors and prints you don't have to look like a cookie cutter image in lily dresses and jacks.

Badass Bitch Staple: The Plain White Tee



The white tee is the most underrated wardrobe weapon we have.  It's possible to wear it and wear it well (read, not looking like the above).  Here are a few suggestions... 






























Lindsay... A word please


Happy 23rd birthday to Miss Lohan who celebrated at the West Republic pool in Vegas (you know your career is in the shitter when you can't even have a birthday party at some place respectable like... L.A.) wearing this.  I don't really know what this is, but whatever it is needs to stop.  First of all, since when did Herve Leger stop making slutty over priced cocktail dresses (which I love don't get me wrong) and start making bathing suits?  It kinda looks like she is in some space aged diaper.  Again, someone help a sister out.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bitch, Gimme that Shiiz: Eco Chic


I'm all for saving the environment, so much so I wont buy my range rover until they make a hybrid.  Anyway, there is a buzz that reusing bags helps save baby whales or whatever, but I never think to bring them when I go to the grocery store and then I get there and think of those stupid walruses chocking on a coke can and then I buy one of bags for a buck anyway and end up with thirty of those stupid things.  Send in thepinkmonogram.com!  With these cute bags that come in different sizes, colors and monogram options you wont forget to bring this along with you.

In Memory of the dude who screams at you to buy stuff

Billy.

Fugly, yet functional




In the great debate between fashion and function, fashion most always looses out.  I mean I would like to think I am one of fashion's most loyal proponents but truth be told I carry big bags out at night not because I think it looks better than a clutch but because it holds my flip-flops in them.  Uggs (which many a clever fellow likes to make a pun of) aint cute... but every person and their mother has a pair.  Crocs... I'm looking at mine right now (I do a lot of gardening). And now... send in the fitflop which promises to tone your saddlebags while you walk to the refrigerator.  I mean, they don't look pretty, but do they do what they promise?  My mother swears by them, but then again this is a woman who once exclaimed "Tweak my tities" when she found a parking spot so I take her opinion with a grain salt.  In my ever ongoing battle to not have the ass of Big Momma, I'm tempted to try them... but that might just be one fugly footwear too many.  Thoughts? Feelings? Anyone alive out there?  Bueller?

One thing I am sure of... I'll never wear these.

Bitchin Buys

In this economy who says that we need to spend more than $200 on an outfit?  Okay, everyone does, but at the same time it's possible to find some really great pieces for under the dreaded two bill mark.  Banana Republic has a great collection out, which work perfectly in and out of the office.  Today I got some great stuff from there all for under $200.  Edressme is a site which boggles the mind.  They have Rebecca Taylor, Shoshanna, Tibi and then some fugly ass dresses which you might find up in a club in spanish harlem, but... they do have some great new designers which are really reasonable.  There is always forever 21... but it's time to grow up a little.  Clothes are no longer as disposable as brain cells and dignity.  College is ovaa.  I am really into Martin ^ Osa, the grown up branch of American Eagle, which rivals J-crew.  Here is a sampling of some great pieces

Best of all they are bitch approved!

Sweaty F.U.P.As be gone!

I can't stand going to the gym and looking at women on the treadmills with their boobs flopping everywhere sweating through their son's Lax shirts.  Actually, what I can't stand even worse than that is when they go out after that and go to the store and subject non gymers to their unsightly appearance. LADIES, you may be working up a sweat but that doesn't mean you have to look like all hell broke lose.  Here are a few key pieces I've found that are cute but still functional.  And hey, there is nothing more motivating than new clothes to help you high tail it to the gym.




Badass Bitch Looks

Today I woke up hungover for the first time at home really and wanted nothing more than to walk across the hall and wake up a sleeping and probably undressed roommate.  I miss the long hours of heavy self rationalization while sitting in our beer tarnished living room floor.  I miss feeling like it was okay to make several daily trips to McDonalds.  I miss a lot of things and I wonder how we are all doing without one another, but mostly I worry... I worry about what they are wearing.  I worry that my friends are wandering their respective streets thinking it's okay to wear cowboy boots with everything even though it's summer... and none of them are from the south.  To make myself feel better I've put together some looks for them.

For Bianca:  My wild child friend from home who likes her dresses as short as she is (that's short btw)


For Emsta who isn't afraid to take risks with what she wears and wants to move to a more metropolitan place!


For Alix: My most simplistic dressing friend who thinks she can't wear anything trendy... but she can.


For Katherine: A more grownup pink and green approach


For Jen, my only employed friend. Gym sneakers need not apply.


For Analeigh who likes to bring in the funk with her style


For Page who likes color and playful prints


For Sarah who epitomizes boho chic.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Bitchin Beats: Pheonix


I am really into this band Pheonix whose album Wolfgang Amedeaus Pheonix is becoming my favorite summer selection.  They are alternative/ Indie Rock but have a great mix of airy notes and electronics thrown in.  There really isn't a song I don't like but check out Lasso. Be sure to download it!

C'est le Vie Paris

This time four years ago I was in Paris with my two best friends from high school... now I'm in the studio off of my parents house sleeping on an areo bed.  WINNER!


RIP MJ and Farrah

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Charming Wall Prints

In honor of getting officially cut off from my parents today the rest of the week will be dedicated to bargain buys!  The first installment comes from this AMAZING website Charming Wall where every amazing print is $20 a piece and only $60 extra to frame.  I especially love the print "Flower Eater" by Martina Fugazotto, and not just because of her name.  I would show you a picture if there wasn't that stupid infringement thing about art online...

Bitchin Buys: Nicole Miller

Today only shop bluefly for an online exclusive Nicole Miller collection and bridal sale!

Job Interview Season: It's on like Donky Kong

I got an email from a friend today who has an interview coming up in NYC and she wanted to know what to wear... Here are a list of some looks I've put together.  I've taken time to mix between some high and low labels to ensure that the look comes out on top.  

Look Number 1:
This Look is casual, simple and fun.  You can't go wrong with a white shirt however in this look you will surely get noticed.


Look Number 2:
This look is affordable and current. I personally know I can't wear harem pants but if you have the bod for it I say go baby go. I would wear this look to an interior design interview or something having to do with architecture because it mixes so many different shapes.


Look Number 3:
This outfit I would wear to an interview with a music company of fun young PR firm. It says you are playful but at the same time ready to work


Look Number 4:
When wanting to be sophisticated and professional I think it can be easy to go black and white but if you do that you might as well just go home. Spice up some color and pattern why you keep with a traditional look.


Look Number 5:
This look is actually cheap and chic. God I love Target!


Look Number 6:
This is a power bitch look with some flare.


Look Number 7:
I like this look because it is girlie butched up.


Look Number 8:
The Wrap dress is a great go-to, the thing is, people have gone to it. I love this Walter dress because it is just really fun without being overdone!


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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Who do you hate more?



Which "celebrity" couple would you root for to disembowel the other in a death match?  John and Kate or Hiedi and Spencer Is there really a loser?

Gilty Pleasure

I would be lying if I didn't admit that half the reason I upgraded my crackberry was because to get better internet reception so I could get onto gilt at the stroke of noon.  Gilt is my happy place... i go there when I am forced to read the rumors about Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart (clearly they are not together he loves me) and when I need a new pair of jeans.  I once brought my computer to class the day of the Milly sale; it's a casual problem.  So what is the big hoopla about that website that makes me quiver so?  It's a 36 hour sample sale with major reductions off the kind of designers you either want to know about or need to know about.  Yesterday VBH debuted on gilt hot off the first lady being spotted carrying one of their creations on date night.  Today, I was really excited about the PRPS sale, the ultra expensive ultra luxe denim company which was made famous by Katie Holmes who sported them during her stint as a New Yorker... and Tom Cruise look alike.  Later this week I'll be looking forward to Marc by Marc Jacobs, notte by marchesa, rachel leigh, James Jeans and Hunter boots.  Want to get in on gilt?  You need an invite!  Since I like my readers and everything email me at thebitchandtheblog@yahoo.com and maybe ill just send you the invite!

Bitchin Staples

One day i'll have everything on this list 1. Jack Rogers 2. Gladiator Hells 3. Quilted black bag 4. Bow Headband 5. Tan Flats 6. Chunky necklace 7. Mets tee... obvi 8. Gladiator flats 9. Simple white day dress 10. Boucle jacket 11. gold hoops 12. white tee 13. throw on sweater 14. hunter boots 15. havianias 16. jorts 17. studs 18. hanky pankys 19. white skinny jeans 20. Bf jeans 21. black jeans 22. fedora 23. Maxi dress 24. Little Navy Dress 25. cocktail dress 26. Trench 27. Khaki pants 28. RAY BANS 29. White and black non ribbed tanks 30. Birthstone earrings 31. Spanx 32: Motorcycle jacket 33. little black dress 34: Day dress 35: Little Red Dress 36: Navy jacket 37: ribbon belt 38: Gold Bangles 39: Go to top 40: Comfy cashmere sweater 41: lightweight scarft 42: Oxford 43: Great bikini 44: Silk Scarf 45: Twill shorts 46: Black booties 47: Black pumps 48: Jean Jacket 49: Tunic 50: Gold ring 51: Monogramed necklace 52: Straight leg jeans


Monday, June 22, 2009

Badass Bitch Staple: The Romparound

The romper is the look for this summer, and lets be honest... it's a genius idea.  Not only do you not need to worry about an outfit like you would with throwing on a dress, you also don't have to worry about flashing your naughty bits when you get out of the car.  Paris Hilton... take note.  Here is a sampling of the ropmers I deem worthy.



Take note of the forever 21 number that looks a LOT like the marc jacobs one.

The Bitch and The Bash: The Look

The weather at my party was so bizarre... one minute it was pouring rain the next minute it was sunny.


The Bitch and The Bash





So this weekend the little sis and I celebrated being just mediocre enough in school to graduate from High School and College, respectively.  To celebrate this momentous joint occasion we drank and ate heavily.  I love throwing parties but seem to forget that without any income and the lack of my own residence the party is primarily my parents' and with that comes hours of getting bitched around by my mother before people arrive. Between my mother, my sister, me and her six well meaning but totally-in-need-of-medication sisters it was like a bad episode of the Real Housewives of NJ at one point.  All in all It turned out really well I have to say and it ended up being a great night.  My dad cooked spinach stuffed chicken breasts, orzo, couscous, guacamole, flank steaks and of course hamburgers and hot dogs.  I made a champagne punch (4 bottles of champagne, half a bottle diet sprit, half a quart of raspberry sorbet).  My mother paid for it all.  

A Bitch to Behold: Kelly Wearstler



I first became aware of Kelly Wearstler on the Bravo reality show, Top Design and was taken by her daring fashion and down right ridiculous hair styles, but all and all, I liked her.  With her third book HUE due out later this summer, a line for Bergdorf's, Sferra, Lee Jofa annnddddd Schumacher she is proving herself to be a bitch to be reckoned with.  Side note, Wearstler was a playboy centerfold back, which I'm sure all her yuppie friends at her kid's schools love to talk about behind her back.

Above: A sample of Wreastler's looks including the Trina Turk Store in Palm Springs.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Weekend is Among US!

We've got a big weekend coming up!  For me, I have friends coming to my house grad parties (including my own on Sunday!) It's also prom season and little sis is actually participating in this rite of passage and attending.  I dream styled her actual prom dress for her, she looks slamming in this drop waist numbaa which is completely unfair because she is a freaking twig.



As for me I am heading into the city in this... sort of



On Saturday I'm heading to the dirty jeerrzz for a friends grad party. These waterproof Revas are going to help me handle the grass.


Rain Rain Peace OUT


This rain is seriously cockblocking my summer wardrobe and this weekend is full of parties. I ain't happy about it. The one good thing is that I can keep my hunters going strong. Here is what I wore today.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Badass Bitch Staple: The Little White Dress

I love white dresses in the summer time.  It reminds me of my one of my favorite books Green Wheat by Colette, which takes place in the South of France during the 1920's.  Both main female characters (of course I can't remember them now... I only did my senior thesis on it)primary wear white, even Camille the thirty something seductress.  (got one!)  So yes, even a bad bitch can wear white.

The White Dress: Gala Party


The White Dress: Bring your white dress to work day! I like that this dress is really a party dress but looks professional with this blazer


The White Dress: Ladies Lunch. This is prim and proper but really fun and flirty


The White Dress: The Interview. Should I have any of these items let alone an interview to attend I would feel tres confident


The White Dress: El Mar. The White Dress does the bitch... I mean beach. I like this fun nail polish color and that it doesn't really go with anything here. Havianias can seem overplayed but are a necessary evil. They have some great new styles like the little faux gladiator ones which are cute but a little pricey. Old Navy or Jcrew flops are great too... the only thing about the Jcrew ones is when they get wet its kinda like walking on a slip and slide and I have bad sensory memory of showering in freshman dorms when I think of old navy flip flops.


The White Dress: CTP (cocktail party)


The White Dress: Boho BBQ


Jens Pirate Booty at ShopStyle


The White Dress: Casual Day


Alex and Ani at ShopStyle

Badass Bitch Staple: The Shirtdress

The shirtdress is essential to the closet of every bitch that knows whats up.  It is so versatile here are some ideas to make this look for you no matter where or when.

The High Noon Shirtdress


The Throw Back Shirtdress (Going all the way back like a month for me)


The Seven PM Shirtdress (Go from work to the bar... well this is what I would wear if I had a job where juice spillage wasn't a major hazard to my footwear)


The Late Night Shirtdress (Need I say more? I couldn't decide on the shoe)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Someone Help a Sister Out...


Oh No, Linds Lo

American Apparel... A word please


My first American Apparel purchase came eight years ago at my town's sidewalk sale.  I shouldn't really say purchase because I'm pretty sure the store owner just gave it to me (it was a plain white AA tee with the store's name on it.)  Boy, have we come a long way from the days of plain white tees.  I mean, okay, I like the basics (You can never have too many white V-necks) but... let's once again call a spade a spade here... What the cock is going on?  Is American Apparel's target demographic rich trannys or something?  Not only are the clothes outrageous and dare I say it... just a wee bit slutty but they are also over priced.  $42 for a mesh body condom?  I don't thinnnkkk sooo. Last friday when I was getting ready to go out I tried on this skirt of the little siss' and I had bottom crack cleavage... I get the whole "hipster" trend thing, I suppose they are our hippies, but only in America would we market an entire store to the counter culture.  Let's be original here people. Oh and btw... Gap makes a cheaper tee shirt.

Bitchin Boat Shoes: DISCOUNT ALERT!


Were you sporting Sperry's from age cero to 19?  Well keep the college days alive with a new pair of top siders.  Sperry now carries some great new takes on the old classic.  I've had my eyes on thee yellow ones for a while and think they would look really cute with simple white jeans and white button down or blue boatneck.  Very Hamptons.  Save 25% when you enter the code NSBC09 upon check out.  Great gift for dad or your manfriend!

Badass Bitch Look: The Errand Bitch

Running around for your employer on your off day?  Or are you just sick of looking like a camper when you are dropping off your mail?  These chloe shorts are the perfect antidote for such a conundrum.  They are tan but boy do they say anything but Camp Mohawk.  The shoes are Sam Edelman  a brand you can always count on for an affordable and current line season after season.  Pair it with a simple white tank (no ribs please... last time I checked the only "Godfather" fashion statement you should be making right now are fedoras... not pasta stained beaters) and this great boyfriend blazer I found from Victoria's secret.  I love this J-Crew signet ring because it's something you can wear everyday.  The clubmaster glasses by rayban are great because I am kind of getting sick of my wayfarers but the shape is so classic.  The Marc bag adds color and I mean... HELLO... it's great.  The necklace is also from J-Crew and adds a little bit of bling without being crazy.  Look bitchin' while you are getting your bitch work done!

Ray-Ban at ShopStyle

Badass Bitch Looks

Badass Bitch Looks will looks i've put together with help from our good friends at shopstyle. More to come when I have a hot sec to actually sit and do something.

A Badass Bitch Look

Rory Beca at ShopStyle

A Badass Bitch Look

Monday, June 15, 2009

Jesus Hath Risen AGAIN in the form of Al Roker


Who thought that the chocolate pillsbury dough boy Al Rotker who is best known for flirting with geriatrics outside the today show could be responsible for such hard hitting journalism.  Rotker not only capable of spotting a cumulus nimbus while the rain comes down upon us, he is also able to point out a douche bag when it's sitting right in front of him.  Al recently sat down with Heidi and Spencer Pratt, who are famous for having a semi famous friend and having one hell of a sadistic fuck for a PR manager, after they escaped from the NBC show, "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here", which if we are calling a spade a spade here... and we should, the show really should be titled "I'm mildly recognizable and in a controlled forest outside of LA... I think."  Rotker asked the pair if they were the reason for all things wrong with celebrity today after he showed a clip of them running around screaming they were some kinda of disciple of Jesus.  Al... I think you're on to something here!  Heidi, who is the poster child for Stockholm syndrome  will be posing for playboy, because after you've done the reality show there is only one place else to go and its topless.