Who says you can't wear...

Tom's Shoes?  With a great social message (for every pair you buy a pair is donated to a child without) and a super comfy feel, it's easy to make these not only wearable but fashionable.

Check out their fall styles

Allure Fall Beauty Preview

Here are your fall beauty preview brought to you from Allure and styled by yours truly!  Enjoy!

Rosy Cheeks: Click see MORE to get the full effect

Nude Lips, Wild Eyes

Hair Pieces

Defined Brows

Messy Ponytails

Tight Bun

Dark Eyes

Lots of Waves

Red Lips

*Click SEE MORE to get the whole look, don't know why it wasn't working!

New Brand Alert: Pleasure Doing Business

With rubber (literally rubber) tight skirts and model with big hair one is reminded of the 80's and the era of excess but Pleasure Doing Business stands for anything but excess (the skimpy silhouette is clue enough).  The brand is founded on the principal of "social and economic responsibility" bringing us sexy clothes that empower women at a responsible price point.  The company says:

The era of flippant spending on useless and unnecessary clothing is through. We wish to change that by providing high-quality, attractive and affordable pieces that any strong & confident person can wear and feel completely comfortable and empowered.

While you could spend thousands on a similar style skirt by Herve Leger or Zac Posen (see look below) a skirt from PDB will run you under a hundred dollars ($88 to be exact).  These skirts are versitle, sexy and the super tight second skin look is totally flattering.  See the looks below:

Zac Posen Skirt:

The Following are all PDB with you skirts:

Mischa Barton Released from Hospital

Marisa, I am mean Mischa Barton was released from the Hospital today after being held on suicide watch after suffering from a mental breakdown last week.  We wish her the very best as she begins her new series on the CW called A Beautiful Life.  I mean its a show about supermodels... she really needs to pull it together I need a healthy dose of supermodel that doesn't include tyra mail.

You didn't see this one coming

Tres bizzare.  It was only a matter or time till Jon Gosselin got together with a Lohan, but if we are being honest I think everyone expect Jon would have swung for the mother before Mr. Lohan.  The two have been seen paling around in the Hamptons this weekend, which begs the question... WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT?  The press seeking Michael Lohan took the opportunity to make big on his relationship with the father of eight talking to PEOPLE saying, 

"He would love to be friends with her," says Lohan, the estranged father of Lindsay Lohan, who's been showing Gosselin around the Hamptons and and who has become an unlikely advisor. "They had eight kids and he would like to work things out the right way and just be friends."
"A lot of opportunities are opening up for him," Lohan says of his friend, referring to possible endorsement deals"

Great.  Who cares?  Battle of the JBros. Slow news day people.  Times like these you wish Michael Jackson had died or something.  Oh wait...

Whats wrong with this picture?

Here is the New Moon cover for the reprinted copies of the New Moon book by Stephanie Meyer... but what's wrong with this picture?  HOW ABOUT EVERYTHING.  For one, Kristin Stewart is there and not me and for the other WHERE IS ROBERT?!  Oh... in the clouds?  NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  UGH.  For all of you who loved the Twilight Soundtrack, fear not, the same artists are returning including Radiohead, Muse and the one and only Robert Pattinson who recorded two songs in the previous soundtrack, Never Think and Let me Sign.

PS click the Robert Pattinson link, you wont be disappointed. 

No Quiero Taco Bell: RIP

RIP to the Taco Bell Chihuahua who died Tuesday at 15 years old.  Who can forget his loveable charm and creepy mexican accent? RIP amigo pequeno.

Bitch it Out: HANDS OFF

Okay, here is something that really irks my inner core: When people comment on my boobs.  I am a small girl with a large rack but just because my boobs are (naturally) and ergonomically incorrect doesn't make me a circus freak or give you an invitation to grab hold and hang on for the ride of your life. The worst is when someone I mildly to moderately like comes up to me at a party and says "WOW, boobs."  No.  WHERE?!?!?!?!?!?!  Yea I have them but that doesn't mean I have to wear a turtleneck to a cocktail party.  I'd rather have Heidi Montag-Pratt as my math partner than spend another moment engaged in a conversation with someone whose only conversation starter is my anatomy.  I mean think about it, would you go up to some guy on the beach and say "WOW, look at your bulge in your speedo?"No.  Hopefully you were raised better and you wouldn't be at the beach with any guy who would wear a speedo.  Today my aunt says, "You look really good lately" which my mother took as an opportunity to demean the hours I spend at the gym and go right into the fugliest bra she bought me insisting that it's my superior foundation creating a sleeker look.  That is also not okay.  Ever.  By the same token should a guy hook up with a well endowed female that does not give them the rights to "honk" a woman's breasts OR lobster claw them.  It's poor form and it's the quickiest way to alert the woman you are with that you are a virgin.

Bitchin Buys: Sunglasses

I love sunglasses just as much as the next person but shelling out more than a hundo for a pair of shades is a little off-setting.  I got a great pair of sunglasses from Target the other day... well at least I thought so until I saw pictures of myself from this weekend and decided I looked like Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's... as in the dead guy.  Great movie... not a great look.  I'm sticking to the real deal and with a website like Best Buy Eyeglasses, we all can.  I got two pairs of Ray-Bans for under two hundred dollars.  Check it out!

Badass Bitch Looks

A little color please

A Badass Bitch Look: Animal Attraction

A Leopard dress?  Seem a little much?  Done right in a muted print and some classic jewelry it wont look cheap (even if the price is right).

Not YOUR Hunter Boots

Hunters are a staple to any wardrobe, but don't expect to be jumping in any puddles in these puppies... unless of course you use hundred dollar bills for tampons.

Which Sexy are you?

This month's Issue of Allure dichotomizes the different types of American Sexy, so, which one are you?

Tough Girl Chic like Megan Fox?

Sex Kitten like Leighton Meester?

Girl Next Door Sexy like Jennifer Aniston?

Or Femme Fatal Like Allure Cover Girl Fergie?

Alix Wear this... and deal with the heels

But if you defy me and wear sandals do something other than jacks

Bitchin' Blog: Stuff White People Like

This site is too funny.  Check it out... it now has it's own book.

Jessica Walks it Off

Jessica Simpson and her longtime boyfriend Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys are doneski.  They announced their breakup a day before Jessica's 29th birthday and a week after her ex husband Nick Lachey announced his breakup from quasi celebrity Vanessa Manillo.  It's news that has every Newlywed fan doing rain dances for a reconciliation between the two.  Not likely, but I have to give it to Jessica, she's a real woman for what it's worth.  Sometimes she's up, sometimes she's down and she has boy trouble.

Jon Gosselin: As douchey as he is fat

Normally when couples divorce it customary for a rivalry to ensue so it would make sense that the Gosselins would be engaged in a Douche off.  Whelp, Jon Gosselin is winning.  Seen in France with his 22 year-old girlfriend whose father is Kate's Plastic Surgeon... nbd, (this is the first the two have been photographed with and is not that Deanna chick... help me lord I cant believe I knew that) Jon was meeting with the head of Ed Hardy to discuss designing for the line, which is noted for their cutting edge fashion sported on some of the most fashionable celebrities such as Britney Spears, Chris Angel and playmates.  Today it comes out that Jon is designing a kids clothing line which his children will model.  WOW, so he kinda sucks.  First he spends no time with the kids and goes off skiing or whatever and now he is selling them into glorified prositution for Ed Hardy?  Theres no God.

Bitch on the Road

Tis the season to get the hell out your house, find a beach, create a relationship with the guy who plants your umbrella in the sand for five dollars and forget life.  This week's beach bad ass bitch staple series is dedicated to oh the places we will go and the clothes we will bring.

Euro Getaway: Chic, simple lines

LA Weekend trip: Color, flare, overload the trend and throw caution to the wind

The Hamptons: Classic Style meets good old preppy staples with a little something something to make an uber luxe look.

The Cape: Have hair bows will travel. Preppy and non obvious nautical tones dominate the cape look. I like to dress as if lily had a one night stand with a dirty sailor.

Lake House: Heading upstate for the week isn't just a fashion reprieve; a more casual, homegrown take on red, white and blue dressing

NEW SALE SITE: Rue La La

My man friend who maintains his heterosexuality sent me this link to a great new member sale site.  This week is Rock and Republic, Alice and Trixie, kitchen aid and Matouk. I highly suggest you check it out!

Hautelook Redesign

Another one of my daily sale sites, Hautelook has debuted a revamped website this weekend.  Gone are the days of that hard to manage side scroll and in the days ahead we can look forward to a well organized sale machine.  Coming up this week is BCBG clothing, handbags and swimwear.

A Bitch to Behold: Lily Allen

She sings what she thinks, she doesn't give a fuck and now she's full frontal.  i-D Magazine had her pose in a panda costume for their August issue, but all that aside it doesn't detract from Lily Allen embodying bitchiness at it's best.  Her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, is her best to date. Check it out, especially the songs The Fear and Chinese.  God I love her, tiny tits and all.

Maxi Madness

This summer the maxi has been made available to the masses, but with that comes a certain responsibility on our part.  The long dress is a delicate area; you are constantly fighting a fine line between looking like you are going to prom and wearing a moo moo.  Here are are a few tips in picking dresses that will look best for you and how to work them:

1. Too much fabric= too much.  People think that the more fabric the more they are hiding but really the more fabric the heavier you look.  Stick to a straight column shape, which is the most flattering

2. Too much print is too much.  I love print believe you me, but make sure the print is on a smaller scale other wise it will swallow you up.

3.  Skip the ruffle at the bottom.  It makes you look shorter and lets call a spade a spade here: this isn't little house on the prairie after all.

4: Little details go a long way.  Mix up the maxi with some twists and turns; a lot of styles have great tie backs, flutter sleeves or even an open back.  It's the little things that make yours look different than everyone else's.

5. Fabrication is key.  It might be tempting to go to forever and pick up a maxi because of the price but then all you have is about three yards of polyester wrapped around you and youre not doing yourself a favor.  Stick to cotton or silk and lay off the shiny stuff... it looks cheap.

6.  Don't over accessorize.  I'm simple to being with when it comes to accessories but long dresses are statement making enough.  Pair it with some cool flats and a simple bangle and be done with it.

7. Horizontal stripes beware!  This is tricky; some horizontal stripes can make you look wider, but in some cases (significant spacing and fine lines) can work, you are just going to have to try it.  Also, this isn't a general rule, but a lot of companies have those giant peace signs on the sides of their dresses... that's not a good look for anyone, pretty face but WIDE hips in that.

8. Be careful when wearing white maxis, this isn't your wedding.

Here is an example of a great way to create a day maxi look:

Here are some day ones I love:

For nighttime you can go a little overboard

And here are some great styles for night:

Ohh would we call this a book?

Lauren Conrad, or LC as those who have problems saying full names call her, has written a book.  I am wary about how badly I should bash the aforementioned novel;  for starters I haven't read it nor do I have an immediate plans to do so and secondly every writing teacher I've ever had has always said to "write what you know", which Conrad certainly took to heart.  LA Candy is a story surrounding a young woman who found fame by staring in her own reality TV show where she was an intern in the fashion industry.  She gets ditched by boys and has a falling out with a friend.  Sound familiar?  Maybe because, I don't know, it happened to her?  Needless to say it's getting bashed but just like a kaftan on the beach I can see a whole lot of tweens sporting LA Candy.  Bottom line: let's leave the pop culture references to someone who can handle them. BTW, she's not going away any time soon; LC has a book deal for three more of these puppies.

The Bitch and the Beach

We did red white and blue right sans the tacky flag shirt
This weekend was the fourth and therefore the first real beach weekend of the summer, well, for me at least.  To get everyone else in the spirit for the summer (hopefully mother nature will cooperate and make it a nice summer) i've compiled some beachn' looks!

Beach Look: Au Natural

Beach Look: Funky

Beach Look: This is for you Sybill

Beach Look: LA Candy

Beach Look: East Hampton

Beach Look: Beach and Bling

The Bitch Is Back

I've been away and then sick... should anyone other than my five friends be reading this, I am back and will be posting more this week!