Spring Essentials: So My Friends Stop Owning My G Chat With Questions

Last night I spent a good hour writing this blog post (anything to divert myself from the Mets loosing) and of course in a moment of pure spasmodic turrets and blogger sucking the preverbal left nut POOF! SHE GONE! The whole thing. I had, had a BITCH of a day to say the least and if I possessed tear ducts I probably would've cried.  Instead I whined incessantly and became so distraught I forgot Project Runway was on and had to watch The Real Housewives of New York set women back three decades.  In any case, I'll try to remember the poetry that was created. I started this blog really for some piece of mind.  In college my friends would all whine at the same time about not having anything to wear and me, having no life and spending most of my days pretending I'm Anna Wintour (a-la those precious day-dream sequences), got to hear the brunt of it.  I thought this would bridge the gap, kinda be a one stop landing pad, maybe convince them that cowboy boots do NOT go with everything, but it hasn't.  Those little bitches are like roaches in their tactics.  I get self-taken pictures sent through BBM, G-chat messages galore and for the gal in the New York area we go on shopping expeditions that put the excruciating in excursion (Jen..).  We'll I of course love all this because they are my people.  In any case, what prompted this post was an aggressive amounts of, not questions, but "statements." Statements, which strongly suggested I do something about them.

If you buy only one thing for spring, make it a denim button down.  I know it sounds a little "down home in Alabama" but with white pants, fun printed shorts or even other denim in can look really sharp.  I'm getting this one from LL Bean Signature; its a steal compared to the others out there and doesn't look like you belong on a cattle ranch.

Denim shirt by gkatz featuring Tory Burch shoes

Items in this set:
the rolled short, $205
Tatum Print Shorts, Merci Liberty Limited Edition, size: L, 75 GBP
Heavy poplin Carson short - bright plum, $50
TORY BURCH BLONDINE GLADIATOR, $275
TORY BURCH RORY CROCHET BALLET FLAT, $235

Yeah I know the denim on denim is a little urban cowgirl but if the denim is darker on the bottom it really is a cute look. I mean these chicks look greeeeat.

This isn't Patch Adams the sequel.

Winter is gone meaning having to wear the uniform (tight skirt, tank, blazer STOCKINGS) is kaput. The LFD is replacing the LBD and tanks be to god.  For those of you who are acronym deficient LFD means little floral dress. 

The things I would do for this dress if two (or three) mild to moderate obstacles weren't in the way.  One I can't afford this Nanette Lepore dress and two and three my lucious lady lumps would never get into those boulder holders.  You can't tell from this picture but there are actually sculpted cups in there fit for someone who has yet to have their first menstrual cycle.  Ugh, I love it though!

This one looks like it could be flattering for any set of girls and under $200 you can maybe, I don't know, sublet your roommates room for a weekend and get it? I really like this new brand Plastic Island, their clothing has really urban elements to classic shapes and aren't horribly priced.

This strapless floral is from Mink Pink, a great brand for the young and casually employed.  It still fits in with the look of the other two but also won't rip after one wearing or show up on a guest of The Jerry Springer Show. At under a hundo you can afford the dress and to get drinks after, and isn't that what its all about anyway?  

Another brand I really like is Yumi Kim. I love this dress because you can wear it to work and out after when temperatures become next to unbearable. Her entire collection is really cute and the prices aren't that bad either.  Fit wise, I've tried on some of her stuff and its a little on the small size. At least thats what I'm telling myself.

As I said a couple of posts ago, tie-dye is really big for spring, which has every hippie OUTRAGED.  Their corner on dirty counter culture has been invaded by the whores of mass production! Sperry no less has made a tie-dye topsider! I wonder who actually is more upset about this the dirty hippies or the WASPs? I'll ask Walt.  Read the tie-dye trend report here.  Trends come and go, which is why I highlighted these because when the hell are florals for spring going to go out of style? Are you never going to wear jeans again? Alright, the tie-dye is a little impractical but still.  My summer staples are the following:

1. Gap pocket tees.  They are sold out online but if you have a town with a stoplight then you have a gap, so go there.  If you get two pairs then the price goes down, which isn't exactly a bad thing.  I got two white ones because lets be honest here... by mid August those arm pits are what they zoom to for the before shots on the Clorox commercials. 

2. J-Crew shorts.  I love them. They haven't changed the fit on them in years which I would say is great, but its not like they look better on me after years.  I never buy them now because its J-Crew and they will be 19.99 but July 4th weekend.

3. Toms Shoes.  This is about the extent of my charitable shopping (for now!).  People say they are really ugly, or "genie" shoes, but I love them: they are comfortable and great beach shoes.  Plus there are some really cute styles.

I'm getting these.  If they are vegan shoes, will I look skinner?

Tune back next time to find out what happens when I deny my friend The World Cup coverage so she can model all these looks above. At the same time.  That's right JEN!!