Dear Lady Gaga, Stop Going To Baseball Games

Gaga is now banned from Yankee Stadium and Citi Field.  Why, pray tell? Because she refuses to put an FING pair of PANTS on.

 After wearing the above to a previous Mets game, the team had to remove her from virgin eyes and gave her Jerry Seinfield's private private box (which they then had to apologize about).  Seeing it was a great opportunity to remind us she isn't a zombie who sleeps during the day she decided to go to Yankee stadium and boys, this is one trade you can gladly have.

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The CFDA Awards Round Up

Last night fashion's number one players got together to congratulate themselves on being masters of the universe at the Council of Fashion Designers of America 2010 Awards.  The night is for designers, models, editors- people in the game, but surprisingly at a night designated to honor fashion, the gowns were a little yawntastic.  Take a look at some of the looks I loved and looks that made me do a spit take, and not in a "I just saw Robert Pattinson naked" kind of way.

I understand SJP's desire to honor her friend and late designer Alexander McQueen but I don't love this piece.  When McQueen uses his crazy patterns they can easily fall pray to the worst dress list, while his other voluminous shaped creations are widely loved and celebrated.  I wish she would've picked something a little more timeless and a little less Ferngully. 

I don't know whether or not her and Justin Timberlake are on the rocks but I do know that recently she has looked ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and the same holds true for Jessica Biel in this DVF column gown.

Love Jess Stam. Love this Giambattista Valli gown with Fenton/Fallon necklace. She looks so fresh faced and innocent from the neck up... but then... haute.

 Whitney Port's body looked amazing in this David Meister gown, I just wish the fabrication was a little younger and little less golden granny.  If it was a light and airy print I deel like that would've been perfection.

Hillary Rhoda can do no wrong in my book especially in this Rachel Roy.

Dree Hemingway looked casual but chic in this Calvin Klein Collection ensemble.

 HARK THE HERALD ANGEL SINGGGGGGG. I mean what would the night be without Ed Westwick,

 I once had a dream that Alexa Chaung was giving me an interview and she showed me all these pictures of me looking really ugly and fat so I've decided to hate her and its not hard when she looks so dowdy in this Marc Jacobs dress.

 Doutzen Kroes in Michael Kors looks classic and chic. Perfection.

 Not youthful.

 Gwenyth Paltrow was one lucky lady as she arrived on the arm with Lifetime Achievment Honoree Michael Kors, both in Michael Kors.

Rachel Roy was my favorite of the night in her own design.

 Molly Sims was a close second in a short and glittery DVF cocktail dress.

 Battle of the editors! Both Vogue's Tonne Goodman wore Michael Kors and Marie Claire's Nina Garcia wore Michael Kors, but who looks best? You tell me.

 Designer of the Year Nominee Tory Burch wore her own design but I wish she had worn one of her sparkly numbers!

 Icon recipiant Iam and her hubby David Bowe wore a custom Giambattista Valli.  In her acceptance speech she said to Bowe 'move over there are two icons on this couch.'

 Amanda Hearst looked cute in this little yellow number, but was it right for the event? Not so sure.

 Rachel Bilson, you have it all! Amazing style, your a ten and you got your fiance to not only wear Richard Chai but go to a fashion function with Richard Chair.

 Elle's creative director Joe Zee looked cute with Fern Mallis who wore Rachel Roy.

 The night took a reflective turn as they honored the late Alexander McQueen.

 Anna Wintour presented MK with his lifetime achievement award.

Marc Jacobs won Womenswear Designer of the year, which is not a huge surprised and totally deserved. I was so excited that Alexis Bittar took home the accessory designer of the year, he's designs paired with the Joan Collins ads just hit the spot for me.  Whelp, it sounded like an amazeball night! One day...

{Photos NYMAG via The Cut}

Not Even Izzy Can Preform an Operation To Save This...

My disdain for Katherine Heigl has nothing to do with Katherine Heigl and everything to do with some chick who makes my skin crawl once telling me she looks like Katherine Heigl.  So that, combined with the publicity People baby caused me to put her in the box with Scarlet Johansson.  When I got my issue of Harper's in the mail, however, I had to admit she looked amazing.  And then... she went to the premier of her new movie "Killers" and she didn't.  Backinbox.

{Photo 1, Photo 2}

Call Dog The Bounty Hunter: Lindsay Lohan, Wanted Woman

WOW, no way!!!! Didn't see this one coming!!

WOMP WOMP

Linslo is partying in St. Tropez which just so happens to NOT be Beverly Hills WHERE her appointment with the Law is. In all her infinite wisdom Lohan is claiming her passport was stolen, though she never reported it stolen or made any attempts to get a new one. Rightfully so the Judge is saying she better get her ass back pronto and if she wants to parade around not in shackles she has to remain sober, wear a SCRAM bracelet and submit to drug testing. So basically she can't live. Whatever, can someone just send her to jail and lets be done with this? Its a toss up who is going to get more time... the cat burglar or the future of the porn industry.  Thanks to The Superficial for his constant, candid coverage of this state matter.

Alexis Neiers Get's Six Months in Bling Ring Heist? And So It Is...

On Sunday night I've been forgoing Kendra and saving up brain cells to be destroyed for the show Pretty Wild, I mean watching fat Kendra hold a baby is just depressing.  At least when she was changing Heff's diapers she wasn't preparation H stuck in her fat rolls. But I digress.  For those of you that haven't heard of the show (this would clearly not include Caroline) its centered around three sisters who reside on the outskirts of the Hollywood in crowd (and by in crowd I mean, they think Lindsay Lohan is cool).  The middle child Alexis was arrested in connection to the "bling ring robberies" where a bunch of her fellow coke heads ripped off Orlando Bloom, Rachel Bilson and other people that actually earn their money.  E, with its high standard for television, gave the Alexis bitty and her sisters a television show and then the Judge gave her six months.

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Gabby (no relation) on the left is the youngest and the most "responsible."  Neirs is center and the "oldest" Tess is on the end showing her love for God just where he would've wanted it: on her bikini line.  I say oldest in quotation marks because Tess is either adopted or just taken in like a stray kitten with a bad scratching problem and isn't blood relation.  The mother/manager is also a big believer in "The Secret" faux juicy sweatpants and g-strings. She even home schools the girls taking them away from regents exams and teaching them this pseudo religion.  Scientology won't even let these freaks in, that's how un-hollywood cool they are.  Even though I hate them on principle the 17 straight years of Law and Order I've watched does cause me to feel bad for her having to pull a Paris for six months.  Her legal eagle, mother and sister Gabby, who is the only voice of reason in that family, decided that she wasn't guilty but just not innocent enough to go to trial so they took the deal.  You can read all about it here.

The Met Ball Fashion Roundup!

Tonight is the Costume Institute's Met Ball, which is fashion's biggest night and signifies the spring social calender is in full effect.  That means really nothing to most of us except now we get some great eye candy.  You know what else means nothing to us? The theme of the evening is American Women: Fashioning a National Identity.  It does sound actually really interesting and I totally want to check it out, but tonight its all about the red carpet.  Here are some that weren't total snoozes, for better or for worse.

                             

 

Jessica Szohr wore Versace and normally I hate her on principle because she dated Ed Westwick, but tonight I hate her because this dress is ugly.  Zoe Saldana recovered from that unfortunate Oscar debacle in a one shoulder Calvin Klein dress.

                             

 

Anna Wintour and her daughter Bee Shaffer stuck to neutral; Wintour in Chanel and Shaffer in Balenciaga.  I like the bottom of Bee's dress but I feel like the top is a little too old for her.

 I love Margherita Missioni and she always looks great in her namesake's line, but the top of this dress is all kinda of crazy.

 Oscar de la Renta custom made God's gown for this evening.

                            

 

Joy Bryant's Marchesa dress is just stupid.  I love Marchesa, but this not so much.  Claire Danes looks good in her Burberry gown.

 Tory Burch

 How hot is this couple? Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Steffani in L.A.M.B.  The line that is normally know for a rock and roll, cali-chic aesthetic looks grown up and classic with this dress.

                                    

 

Gap sponsored the evening. I know, what was the company that makes our tee-shirts doing sponsoring a red carpet fete?  Well, apparently they didn't know either and enlisted some A-list designers to dress the stars. I don't hate Kirsten Dunts Rodarte for Gap number (her shoes I do hate) but I loaaaathee this Sophie Theallet for Gap frock that Vera Farminga is in.  Its like a bad saloon girl outfit.

 Tina Fey ina jumpsuit

 So, I'm going to say something now that's probably going to get slack, but I think J.Lo was the best dressed for the night.  She looks absolutely stunning and it makes us forget about that nipple grazing grammy number.  The dress is by Zuhair Murad.

                              

 

Chloe Sevingy wore Proenza Schouler, which was fine, not sure if it would be the best choice for this event, but its Chloe Sevingy and I'm not really sure why she is famous.  Padma, Padma, Padma.  You are so pretty, you just had a baby and your bod is rocking, but why are you wearing feathers on your tits?  Roberto Cavalli.

 Now if this isn't the picture of a happy couple than I don't know what is!

 Taylor Swift wore Ralph Lauren and looked stunning. I love the look head to toe, completely the All-American look.

 Mila Kunis in Vera Wang with Vera Wang

                                        

 

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu and Kerry Washington Thakoon for Gap

                                

 

The Sex and the City girls showed up in full force. SJP wore Halston (but you already could've guessed that because you read this) and Kristin Davis, who looked banging.

                                   

 

I like Elizabeth Bank's look, but its too wintery for the oppressive humidity we are experiencing. I really hope Rachel Zoe didn't dress Eva Mendes in this Gucci number, because she ain't looking good in it.

Rachel Weisz looked great in this hot pink Oscar de la Renta gown.

Erin Featherston looking like an oscar from the 70's.

 Calvin Klein and Carolina Herrera in her own creation

 Oh god. Captain awkward Kristin Stewart in a fierce Chanel dress.

Gisele Bundchen in an evil Pochohantos Alexander Wang gown.

 BFFEAEAE143!!!!!  Stella McCartney, Liv Tyler and Kate Hudson all in Stella McCartney.

 Yup, that really is a light up dress.

 Blake Lively you are physically perfect and look amazing in your Marchesa creation.

 Anne Hathaway looks beautiful in her Valentino gown.  It looks like Hathaway has found her designer.

                                 

 

January Jones looks like a sex doll for the sixties while Marion Colliard looks like she is sixty.

I just thought Jimmy Fallon looked really cute.

America voted Christina Hendricks the best looking woman but she wasn't living up to that fame tonight.  She looks smoking in the dress but her make-up and hair is all wrong she looks evil.

Look whose back together! Sienna Miller in Emilio Pucci and Jude Law

Rachel Bilson looked cute in Louis Vuttion

Babe alert.  Bar Refaeli in Rag and Bone sans Leo.

 Jessica Stam looked great in wearing Bulgari Jewelry and even Karl showed up before he retired to god only knows where.

Love Mrs. Bloomberg's gypset inspired gown.

And even Lindsay Vonn showed up.

Zac Posen took a break from peddiling polyester to rejoin the fashion elite, seen here with Doutzen Kroes.  Soooo, who do you think was the best dressed and who do you think was the worst? Comment below. SPANKS.

{All photos from NYmag.  Hire me and I'll stop ripping off your photos.}