Call Dog The Bounty Hunter: Lindsay Lohan, Wanted Woman

WOW, no way!!!! Didn't see this one coming!!

WOMP WOMP

Linslo is partying in St. Tropez which just so happens to NOT be Beverly Hills WHERE her appointment with the Law is. In all her infinite wisdom Lohan is claiming her passport was stolen, though she never reported it stolen or made any attempts to get a new one. Rightfully so the Judge is saying she better get her ass back pronto and if she wants to parade around not in shackles she has to remain sober, wear a SCRAM bracelet and submit to drug testing. So basically she can't live. Whatever, can someone just send her to jail and lets be done with this? Its a toss up who is going to get more time... the cat burglar or the future of the porn industry.  Thanks to The Superficial for his constant, candid coverage of this state matter.

Lindsay Sex Tape Stolen

After the burglary of her LA home last week Lindsay reveals the real reason her panties are in such a twist over it (and no it's not because someone broke into her house).  The Chicago Sun Times reports "the real reason Lindsay Lohan is so upset about the theft of the safe from her L.A. house is the contents included some very incriminating videos and photos, plus legal documents, that LiLo believes could cause embarrassment if made public."  

Well color me surprised, Lindsay made a sex tape?! The sick and sad thing about all this is when it's finally made public after lengthy legal battles and shots of Lindsay crying and eventually finding Jesus is we are all going to watch this crap.  I mean we aren't going to like it, but it's going to be like arriving first to a really bad car accident, you gotta take a peak.

picture from thesuperficial.com

Lindsay... A word please

Happy 23rd birthday to Miss Lohan who celebrated at the West Republic pool in Vegas (you know your career is in the shitter when you can't even have a birthday party at some place respectable like... L.A.) wearing this.  I don't really know what this is, but whatever it is needs to stop.  First of all, since when did Herve Leger stop making slutty over priced cocktail dresses (which I love don't get me wrong) and start making bathing suits?  It kinda looks like she is in some space aged diaper.  Again, someone help a sister out.

Badass Bitch Staple: The Romparound

The romper is the look for this summer, and lets be honest... it's a genius idea.  Not only do you not need to worry about an outfit like you would with throwing on a dress, you also don't have to worry about flashing your naughty bits when you get out of the car.  Paris Hilton... take note.  Here is a sampling of the ropmers I deem worthy.

Take note of the forever 21 number that looks a LOT like the marc jacobs one.

Someone Help a Sister Out...

Oh No, Linds Lo

American Apparel... A word please

My first American Apparel purchase came eight years ago at my town's sidewalk sale.  I shouldn't really say purchase because I'm pretty sure the store owner just gave it to me (it was a plain white AA tee with the store's name on it.)  Boy, have we come a long way from the days of plain white tees.  I mean, okay, I like the basics (You can never have too many white V-necks) but... let's once again call a spade a spade here... What the cock is going on?  Is American Apparel's target demographic rich trannys or something?  Not only are the clothes outrageous and dare I say it... just a wee bit slutty but they are also over priced.  $42 for a mesh body condom?  I don't thinnnkkk sooo. Last friday when I was getting ready to go out I tried on this skirt of the little siss' and I had bottom crack cleavage... I get the whole "hipster" trend thing, I suppose they are our hippies, but only in America would we market an entire store to the counter culture.  Let's be original here people. Oh and btw... Gap makes a cheaper tee shirt.